Father-Son Bonding at the Cabin

I’m largely left out of a lot of activities at the cabin.

And I’m ok with that.

Much of what’s happening is in the proverbial father-son bonding arena: fishing and grilling and going really fast in boats.  I like fishing………for about twenty minutes. And I love boating as long as the speedometer remains below ten miles per hour. I don’t care for grilling.

When they’re out doing father son bonding (FSB), I stay back and weed because, as you know, I am a badass weeder. When I’m not weeding, I mostly read in the sun. Someday, our property will be tamed and I won’t be weeding’s bitch anymore and then there will be even more reading. Lots of it. Mostly magazines but also big fat books. That’s a lie, I don’t like fat books. It’s called editing, people. I like a greater number of well-edited books. I take them to the dock or our tiny pebbly beach and I wait for the fisherman to return home.

Is this the image I want to project to my son? Always passive, waiting for the menfolk? Is this how I want him to remember me? Maybe I should be Active Mom, breaking stereotypes and being all healthy. Would this better teach him about the power and unending abilities of women? Maybe. Well, yes. The answer is yes. But that’s not super authentic; I had a bout in the 90’s when I got a new mountain bike and I was really into rock climbing shoes. But I never actually WENT rock climbing. And my mountain bike was called “my new mountain bike” until I put a free sign on it twenty years later. I’m not Active Mom. I’m more like Reading Mom.

And, more importantly, this may not be about me. A boy needs his dad. He needs to feel accepted by his dad and liked by his dad and he needs to have happy memories with his dad — JUST his dad — or you could end up with one seriously effed up individual. It’s just that important.

I bond with Liam every day; I laugh with him and I take him on secret trips to Dairy Queen and I answer questions about masturbation and transgender lesbians while I chauffeur and make snacks. So I’m okay to bow out at the cabin and let them have this.

And when they come in off the boat, there will be some killer homemade cole slaw and two long tall glasses of Dr. Pepper waiting for them.



Homemade Cole Slaw Dressing

1 cup mayo

2 tbsp mustard

1 tbsp white vinegar

salt & pepper to taste

sugar to taste


  1. As I read your writings, I am reminded of why we were friends way back when. We have a cabin in Longville that has been in my husbands family for 3 generations. We love to go there as often as possible with Paul’s family. My self appointed chore is weeding the beach. I can’t seem to help myself but it is the best looking beach on the lake. My kids think I’m crazy. I used to weed the playground at the elementary school when I ‘d take them there to play.

    Keep writing. I can hear your voice so clearly as I read it.


    Liked by 1 person


    1. Can’t stop replying, Jackie! I keep reading your comment and being grateful – for people who get me, for people who speak up when they feel things, and for the love of little cabins everywhere. Thank you, friend!



  2. I am not the “active” mom or the outdoorsy one and I make no apologies for it. Do I seem sort of prissy and unable to do certain things? Perhaps, but it’s who I am. I decided best for my kids to know the truth. Mom likes the indoors. 😉



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